


Resolve

by Mishka_kitty



Series: bond-mates au [3]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Ciel's totally procrastinating, Companion Piece, M/M, Sebastian's annoyed, Vignettes, character/world building, lots of introspection, rated E for ch5, some gore ch4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-10 19:44:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8934832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mishka_kitty/pseuds/Mishka_kitty
Summary: Companion piece to Inextricable.Exploration of Sebastian's and Ciel's states of mind between chapter 11 and the epilogue via a series of oneshots.





	1. 10 January 1891

**Author's Note:**

> YAY! I finally finished this stupid thing! I've been trying to write this since like June or something but only really did much this past month. It's amazing how much easier it is to write when you're not constantly feeling like death on a stale cracker. And school sucks.  
> Anyway, This is a series of 6 small oneshots which shows how they came to the decision indicated in the epilogue of Inextricable. For the record, this probably will make no sense if you've not read that. A lot of this is dialog heavy and character driven but I tried to make it interesting.  
> Thanks as always to [Harlequinade13](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Harlequinade13/pseuds/Harlequinade13) for the beta.  
> Also, sorry, this first chapter is actually the most boring in my opinion and the shortest.

"Sebastian."

"Hmm?"

"You've dusted that shelf five times already."

The demon turned from the bookcase he'd been meticulously dusting for the last half hour to face his mate. Ciel sat behind his desk, tapping his pen against the paper before him in a restless, slightly irritable manner which perfectly matched Sebastian's mood. The human was supposed to be looking over a proposal for a new line of stuffed toys, only the first of the many items he'd been neglecting for the past few weeks. This morning, Ciel had decided that he was tired of moping about with no clear plan. So, instead of actually attempting to come to terms with the things he didn't want to think about, he'd stubbornly insisted he had paperwork to do. Sebastian had simply shaken his head and set himself to cleaning the study, which, in truth, he'd also been neglecting. He had told Ciel that he was content to wait if Ciel wished to continue living as he was, but the demon was beginning to wonder if he hadn't perhaps spoken too rashly. But, he noticed with a smirk, Ciel was still on the first page. It appeared his plan to regain some sense of normalcy was working no better for him than Sebastian. No, he'd been too busy watching Sebastian dust to worry about his own work. And Sebastian had been too busy surreptitiously eying Ciel in his periphery to realize he'd spent the past ten minutes dusting a shelf which no longer held the smallest speck of dirt. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes at their foolishness. This avoidance was getting them nowhere. 

"Of course," Sebastian said smoothly. As though he'd meant to go over the blasted thing ad nauseam.

Leaving the duster on top of the bookcase, Sebastian stalked across the room to lean over the back of Ciel's chair. He couldn't resist burying his face in the side of his mate's neck, pressing a gentle kiss just behind his ear, breathing in his scent. Ciel shivered pleasurably but reached back to lightly swat Sebastian on the side of the head.

"Go away. You're distracting me. Perverted demon."

Sebastian's dark chuckle sent chills down Ciel's spine and straight into his member. "Ah, my soul. You've read that same paragraph six times already."

Ciel let out an exasperated huff and gave up his half-hearted resistance. For now. He dropped his head back to rest against Sebastian's shoulder and closed his eyes wearily. Sebastian hummed sympathetically and massaged Ciel's tense shoulders.

"This is ridiculous," Ciel grumbled.

"Yes," Sebastian agreed, tone neutral. But Ciel felt the current of displeasure beneath his demon's thoughts and couldn't have said what exactly Sebastian was agreeing to be ridiculous.

Ciel supposed he couldn't really blame him. This situation was less than ideal. Neither of them were particularly good at remaining idle for too long, yet it was quite difficult to get anything done when they couldn't move more than a room away from each other. Not to mention, the constant, incredibly distracting need to cling to Sebastian's side, to reaffirm their connection through every form of physical intimacy in his capability. And naturally, the usual antics of the servants, which had gone from mildly annoying to extremely irritating, made everything so much worse. Ciel knew the three tried not to antagonize them, tried to keep out of their hair and give them space. But it had become very clear very quickly just how much Sebastian covered for them and kept the household running smoothly on a daily basis. Glued to Ciel's side, the demon had been less than attentive lately and Ciel was quite sure the house hadn't been so messy since he was born. Everything combined was fraying Ciel's already short temper rather badly and, of course, Sebastian had to deal with the worst of it. So he really couldn't be angry with the demon for being a little testy himself.

He looked back down at his seemingly never ending pile of paperwork, of which he'd not even scratched the surface, and groaned inwardly. On the other hand, idleness and the comfort of physical intimacies seemed very appealing just now. He closed his eyes to relish the feeling of his mate's fingers working the knots out of his stiff muscles. This tension wasn't helping his mood either.

Ciel sighed as Sebastian's hands slid over his shoulders to his chest. Dexterous fingers flicked open buttons to find bare skin and Ciel turned his face into the side of Sebastian's neck. He blindly pushed his paperwork aside as the demon pulled out the chair and circled around to face him. It was clear neither of them were going to be getting anything done any time soon.


	2. 3 February 1891

Bard pushed open the door to the kitchen, still rubbing sleep from his eyes with his free hand. He reminded himself for the thousandth time that he was lucky Sebastian had long ago decided that he alone would prepare the master's meals, especially breakfast. Bard hated mornings and certainly had no objections if the butler wanted to be the one to get up at some ungodly hour to handle the morning preparations. Eight o'clock was already too early, thank you very much. Why on Earth he had woken earlier than that today was a mystery and he was not happy about it.

So he was unsurprised to find Sebastian still standing over the stove, hands moving in a dizzying blur as he laid pastries out on a pan with one and cracked eggs into a hot skillet with the other. Bard snorted to himself. How had they ever fooled themselves into thinking this man was human? He was simply too perfect; always had been.

What he hadn't expected to see was the young master sitting calmly on the countertop nearest Sebastian, legs idly swinging. His eyes, both of them, tracked Sebastian's every move. Bard supposed he shouldn't be surprised; so many things had changed around the household since the beginning of January. For one, it was nearly unthinkable to see either Sebastian or Ciel without the other close by. And the eye patch, that had almost become a part of Ciel, now appeared only if the master had to leave his property. Having allowed the servants to see them as they were, neither butler nor master seemed inclined to go back into hiding. It was kind of odd but also weirdly comforting to everyone. Bard rolled his eyes as he crossed behind Sebastian, heading straight for the coffee, and Ciel glanced at him in confusion, drawing a low chuckle from Sebastian. The strange, internal conversations had also become commonplace to the others. It was a little unnerving how synchronized the two were lately. As though they hadn't had the whole creepy rapport thing going already.

Doing his best to ignore the pair--or more specifically his raging curiosity about what exactly was so funny--Bard pulled the tin of coffee grounds down from the cupboard. It was too early to be worrying about what was going on in the heads of those two. Then again, it was always the wrong time for that. His stomach growled as the eggs sizzled in the skillet and he looked over in time to see Sebastian just sliding the pan into the oven.

The butler cast him an amused glance and shrugged elegantly. Honestly, how did anyone shrug elegantly? No wonder a man couldn't get any attention from the ladies with that bastard around. Bard snorted again as he caught Ciel eying Sebastian rather openly.

"I suppose since you're awake and about, I may as well feed you too," Sebastian sighed, though he didn't seem too put out.

Bard suspected the butler rather enjoyed cooking for some reason. Though he'd been told, when he'd dared to ask a few days after New Year's, that Sebastian had no realistic concept of how the food tasted to the rest of them. Somewhat bemused, Bard had asked how he was able to prepare such perfect dishes. To which the demon replied, "Recipes and a great deal of practice." He supposed that made sense; wasn't that how everyone else did it after all?

Bard grunted in thanks and turned back to the coffee. He needed coffee before any sort of coherent conversation could happen. But as he looked into the tin, he muttered a curse under his breath. Empty. Bloody typical. Why had he gotten out of bed again? He glared at the few useless grains at the bottom of the tin.

Then, as though by magic, the tin was suddenly gone. But he barely had time to blink before it was being put back into his hands, now full once more with freshly ground coffee beans.

"There now. Don't expect things to always appear like this when you simply stare as if waiting for magic to happen."

Bard's head snapped up to see Sebastian smirking at him. His eyes looked human for the moment but they glowed unnaturally with humor.

"Sebastian, don't give the man a heart attack before he's even had a chance to wake up," Ciel chided. But he too looked amused as he glanced at Bard's expression.

"I wouldn't worry," Sebastian replied, returning to the stove. "If he has a heart attack, it won't be my doing. No doubt, it'll be due to the excessive amount of coffee he drinks." He cast Bard another amused glance. "I filled that tin only a few days ago, you know. And you are the only one in this house who drinks it."

Bard just blinked at him before getting to the task of brewing his precious coffee. What did that bastard know about it anyway? But he felt the corner of his mouth twitch as he heard Ciel's low huff of laughter. Even if it was at his expense, it was nice to know the sour little lord was capable of humor. He'd doubted it for the longest time. He, nor any of the others for that matter, couldn't begrudge the pair their happiness. He wondered how long this easy comradery had existed between them before everything was suddenly forced out into the open. He wasn't certain how much the revelations they'd learned on New Year's had weighed on the others before they came to terms with them. For himself, he'd made his decision about his own feelings after only one brief hour of thought. He had been raised in a God-fearing house, raised to believe that the word demon was synonymous with everything wrong and evil. But his time in the war had broken so many of his previous convictions and he simply couldn't reconcile pure evil with the man who'd taken him and his colleagues in despite how much Bard knew they annoyed him. He couldn't forget that moment when he and Finny stood at Ciel's bedside, watching Sebastian, injured, bleeding, and clearly in agony, clinging to Ciel for dear life and staring at them like a starving lion. And he chose to hide his face against Ciel's neck and allow them to flee. He couldn't forget that he'd seen, out of the corner of his eye, the Lady Elizabeth fall into Sebastian's arms and be pushed immediately away while the demon's jaw clinched with that same starving look on his face. And which of them had not done things that could be counted as evil? He'd put his faith in this strange household years ago and decided there was no reason to break his loyalty now. The others had come to this same conclusion in their own ways and all knew their acceptance was appreciated. 

Ciel frowned at him as he leaned against the counter, coffee in hand. "I never understood how anyone could drink that stuff. It's so bitter."

Bard grinned, the hot drink already perking him up. "That's what sugar's for."

Sebastian sighed without turning. "Sometimes I think humans secretly want to eat themselves to death."

Ciel cut him off with a groan. "If you're going to start with the lectures on the evils of too much sugar, I'm leaving."

"No you're not."

"I hate you."

"That is not what you said two hours ago."

"I am no longer speaking to you."

"Very well, as you wish. That simply means I am free to lecture you in peace."

"I'd much rather you just kill me and spare me the suffering."

Bard pressed his lips together to hold back laughter. They were much more entertaining when they spoke aloud. Maybe he should get up earlier to hang around here and watch them more often.


	3. 25 February 1891

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to be clear, the descriptionof 'Hell' given here applies strictly to the head cannon for this universe. And I don't know where it came from

Ciel rolled over with a frustrated sigh, turning his back to the room-and Sebastian. It didn't help. He could no longer see the dizzying blur of movement, but he could still feel it. Finally, he snapped.

"Sebastian. Calm down will you? You've been pacing for over an hour and I'm trying to sleep."

Sebastian froze mid-turn, remaining balanced on one heel for a long moment before unfreezing and dropping heavily onto the bed behind his mate. Ciel rolled his eyes. He supposed he couldn't blame Sebastian for his irritability; his own mood wasn't much better. Lack of sleep wasn't going to help either of them though. Even if the demon had finally fallen still, his thoughts remained a rushing torrent in which Ciel struggled not to drown. The room, however, was now dead silent. Too silent. Ciel shifted restlessly, strangely wishing Sebastian would snap back at him. Anything to break the tension between them.

"I cannot calm down."

The response was sudden and Ciel started slightly. But it was the veiled anger in the words that made him roll over again to face Sebastian.

The demon sat on the edge of the large bed, back rigid and shoulders stiff. Staring fixedly ahead at a spot on the opposite wall, Sebastian's hands gripped his knees hard enough for his extended claws to puncture the fabric of his pants and dig into his flesh. Ciel sighed and reached to pry one hand free, frowning at the droplets of blood clinging to the sharp nails. Sebastian allowed Ciel to take his hand and twine their fingers, but did not turn.

"You said you could wait for me. Have you taken to lying to me now that you are no longer contractually bound?"

Sebastian's fingers tightened almost painfully on Ciel's and he growled. "I do not lie."

Ciel said nothing, waiting. Finally, after a long moment, Sebastian moved, breaking his staring contest with the wall and turning to face Ciel, drawing his legs up beneath himself. Ciel had expected to see anger and resentment in Sebastian's face, or at least irritation. His thoughts were still a roil of negative emotions. But all Ciel saw in his mate's eyes was a kind of exhausted regret. The punishing grip on Ciel's fingers finally loosened and Sebastian pressed an apologetic kiss to his knuckles.

"I do not lie," he repeated softly. "But I am not infallible. I didn't know."

Ciel bit his lip, brows drawn together in thought. Absently, he pulled his hand free of Sebastian's to wind a lock of the demon's long hair around his fingers.

"What do you mean?" Sebastian sighed heavily, folding his hands in his lap. "And stop cutting yourself with your own nails."

A smile flickered at the corner of Sebastian's mouth and he obediently retracted his claws. "I mean that, when I told you I could wait, I truly believed it. I had no idea it would be this difficult to keep hold of my self-control. . . . I know you feel it too."

Guilt twisted Ciel's stomach and he closed his eyes, unable to meet Sebastian's gaze. Yes, he did feel it: the restlessness of being confined to duties and routine and propriety; the anger with everyone and their constant interference, deliberate or not; the persistent need to cling to his mate and reaffirm their bond with every touch, to learn every nuance of his being, to claim and mark again and again until there could be no doubt who belonged to whom. They were irrational feelings, unwarranted and almost frightening in their baseless intensity. Ciel was not accustomed to being ruled by his feelings or instincts; logic had been his fail-safe for years. The new urges and the still unclear future frightened him. And Ciel hated being frightened. So, though he knew it was foolish, he pushed aside all the thoughts and feelings he didn't know what to do with and threw himself into his familiar daily routines. Maybe he was just being overdramatic. Maybe it was his own uncertainty making him so irrational. Maybe if he ignored the rising sense of something amiss, it would resolve itself. And if he also sensed Sebastian becoming increasingly irritable, like a caged predator, then that was his problem wasn't it?

But that wasn't how it worked. It was both an advantage and disadvantage of such a connection; every joy and pain were felt as one.

Finally, Ciel lifted his eyes to Sebastian's face again. The demon watched him with an unreadable expression. His fingers tapped out an unconscious rhythm, the only outward sign of the inner restiveness. He needed to move, to run, to release this restless energy somehow. Or perhaps he just needed to visit his cats in the gardens. They always calmed him. But he could not leave his mate's side and, alas, Ciel hated his babies. 

Ciel shook his head with a frustrated huff. "I don't hate them, Sebastian. I am allergic to them." _And they take your attention away from me._ He did not voice this last, but he knew Sebastian heard it anyway.

"But your allergy should abate soon, if it hasn't already. Thinking back, your health has already shown some improvement in the past year. And I will miss them." His voice grew sad.

Even as the implication of the words made Ciel's mind immediately cringe, he couldn't turn away from Sebastian's sudden misery. He took a deep breath. He should get this over with.

"Sebastian?"

Sebastian's eyes focused on Ciel's face, his melancholy lifting slightly. "Yes?"

"You never really told me . . . What is your home like? I imagine the traditional depiction is a gross misrepresentation. You seem to think everything else is."

The demon pursed his lips in thought. He was honestly surprised that Ciel had finally voiced the question. It had been on the human's mind off and on since the beginning of their contract and had certainly preoccupied him quite a bit over the last weeks. But while Sebastian would have answered him at any time-the information wasn't really any great secret-Ciel had never managed to bring himself to actually ask.

"Well," he began slowly. "You are correct. The common beliefs humans come up with are mostly inaccurate. In fact, I don't know if any soul has been permitted to pass through the gates of what you would call Heaven in centuries. The majority of people are classed as mildly impure and are simply assigned to various areas of our domain for organizational purposes. Only those deemed extremely wicked based on their actions in life are subjected to the type of tortures the church speaks of. There are less of those than you might expect."

"So then, what about you?" Ciel asked. Now that Sebastian was speaking, he found his curiosity truly peaked.

"What is my place? I oversee a rather large territory. My rank is mid-level in the hierarchy, meaning my territory is subdivided into many smaller areas all assigned to a lower-level youngling. I oversee their activities. My own superior controls a much larger section including my territory and several others. I must answer to him." He paused, a troubled look coming into his eyes.

Ciel licked his suddenly dry lips. He didn't like this spike of unease. "You are worried." It was not a question.

Sebastian sighed and reached out to run a soothing hand over Ciel's hair. "I am simply unsure what sort of reception we may receive. I have never heard of this happening before and I fear . . . I fear they may not accept you or the validity of our mating."

Ciel swallowed hard. This was one of the reasons he very much did not want to leave this place of comfort and relative safety. He had no idea how he might compete with beings much older and infinitely more powerful than himself. There, away from the human world, the titles and respect he'd grown accustomed to would mean nothing. 

"Hush, kitten," Sebastian murmured. "It will do us no good to create problems before they occur. We have enough to contend with as it is."

Ciel shook his head, letting out a long sigh. His bones suddenly ached with weariness, the stress of the past two months combined with weeks of broken sleep taking its toll. And he could see no resolution. He knew what he should do, knew what they both needed. But he simply couldn't bring himself to contemplate a life in a world entirely alien to him. He supposed it was cowardice and hated himself for it. Yet, as much as he did not want to admit it, he wasn't ready to let go of the last remnants of the life he was born into.

Sebastian curled his fingers into Ciel's hair, closing his eyes. He looked as tired as Ciel felt, despite the restless energy still thrumming through him. He didn't need to sleep, but one of the disadvantages of their connection seemed to be that Sebastian felt Ciel's exhaustion and found himself sinking into a languid, drowsy state whenever Ciel slept. With time, he hoped to be able to resist the pull of his mate's somnolence. He enjoyed curling around Ciel in his bed, holding him, watching him sleep, but found the interference with his ability to function irritating. Tonight, their problem was the exact opposite.

"Sebastian, I need to sleep," Ciel murmured. He turned his face into Sebastian's hand, nuzzling against his fingers like a kitten begging for attention.

"I know," Sebastian sighed. His gaze turned to the window, staring out at the cold light of the stars.

"How do you usually deal with this? Surely you've been restless before?"

"I run," Sebastian answered absently. "But I can't leave you."

Ciel was quiet for a long moment, watching Sebastian watch snowflakes drift lazily passed the window.  
"Take me with you."

Sebastian looked down at him, surprised. "Ciel, I don't think-"

"Take me with you. I trust you not to drop me." A wry smile flickered across Ciel's face.

"Little soul, you realize it is literary freezing outside?"

"Yes? That is what winter clothing is for."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. He supposed he should have expected Ciel to suggest such a solution; the little brat was far too stubborn for his own good.

"I heard that."

"Oh dear," Sebastian said, not sounding at all repentant.

Sighing in resignation, he rose and went to retrieve the warmest clothing he could find in Ciel's wardrobe. Ciel allowed himself to be dressed with no complaint, though he did very little to facilitate the process. Finally, Sebastian fastened the last button and pulled Ciel to his feet, trying very hard not to smirk at his mate's odd appearance, all but smothered in scarves and sweaters and the heaviest coat he owned. But he was damned if he was going to allow the human's stubbornness to result in frostbite or hypothermia. For good measure, Sebastian lifted his own tailcoat from a chair and wrapped it around his mate.

Ignoring Ciel's exasperated huff, Sebastian crossed to open the window. An icy breeze fluttered the curtains and Ciel glared irritably at a stray snowflake which settled on his glove.

Sebastian smirked. "Last chance to reconsider."

"Shut up."

Still grinning, more fondly than he would have admitted to aloud, Sebastian gathered Ciel up in his arms, settling him securely against his chest. Ciel immediately cuddled close, tucking his head into its accustomed spot on the demon's shoulder, Sebastian's hair falling over his cheek.

Leaping gracefully from the second story window, Sebastian hit the ground running. He reveled in the feeling of freedom, the wind streaming through his hair. Moving with no set course, he let the excess energy spend itself as it would. He found that, despite his reluctance, the feeling of his mate, warm and safe in his arms, soothed him.

And Ciel . . . Ciel had fallen asleep. The comfort of the strong arms cradling him and Sebastian's mental embrace, finally calm, troubles washed away by pure exhilaration, had lulled him into the deepest sleep he'd managed in some days. The combined warmth of Sebastian's body and the protection of his layers of clothing kept the biting wind at bay and the feeling of weightlessness was strangely relaxing. Sebastian bent his head to bury his nose in his mate's hair, his chest suddenly aching. 

He adjusted his grip to a more secure hold and leapt up to the highest branches of a tree on the edge of a small wood. He paused there for a moment, staring out at the manor, clear in the distance to his superior sight. A strange wistfulness came over him. How had this happened? By all darkness, how could one tiny human child, simply one in a very long line of desperate souls willing to give themselves up for some insignificant wish, become more precious to him than his very existence? And why did the thought of the inevitable end to the void contract make him feel physically ill? He had never wanted the burden of a mate; he should miss his previous life of selfish freedom. Tiny, gloved fingers curled in his hair and warm breath tickled his neck. And he couldn't regret a single moment. He supposed this was that mysterious force humans called love. How utterly absurd. And completely irresistible.


	4. 19 March 1891

Ciel pressed his handkerchief to his nose, trying his best not to breathe in the stench of human filth. He wanted to complain that, surely, Sebastian could have found a cleaner dark alley for them to hide in, but he knew better. No chance of that in this part of London. He found himself once again wondering just what he thought he was trying to prove by keeping up this ridiculous farce. He knew Sebastian would love nothing more than to drop all of these shackles of human society and disappear. Ciel shook his head and forced his mind back on track. These thoughts had become a near daily distraction but he simply couldn't think about the alternative. The terrifyingly unknown alternative. If they left, where would they go? So instead he threw himself with even more determination into his mundane duties for Queen and country and business. And pretended he didn't feel Sebastian's annoyance with him.

"Young master?" Sebastian snapped his fingers in front of Ciel's eye with a sarcastic smirk. "Are you still with me? You can't very well keep a look out if you're daydreaming."

Ciel glared at him. "Don't be an arse. You know very well I'm paying attention."

Sebastian gave him an unreadable stare, his thoughts hidden behind the mental barriers that Ciel still couldn't breach. It infuriated him that they were even necessary, though he well remembered the feeling of drowning in the hurricane of a consciousness capable of overwhelming and burying him. So he didn't complain, but put his energy into learning how to strengthen his own defenses. He already had an iron will and found it easier than he'd thought. He allowed himself to feel smug every time Sebastian glared at him with a mixture of frustration and reluctant pride. True, the things he'd been able to hide away were small things that the demon could probably have guessed without any mental connection, but it was a start.

This time Sebastian's hand slid suggestively down Ciel's chest, fingers finding and pinching a nipple through the layers of fabric. Ciel clapped a hand to his mouth to stifle a yelp and sent the demon a venomous look. 

"What the hell!"

"Pay attention and I won't have to resort to more drastic measures to get you out of your own head. Or mine."

Ciel's cheeks colored and he slapped the hand still resting against his chest. "You bastard!" he hissed. "I do not want to be in your head right now. Honestly, this is not the time or place. And you say I have trouble concentrating. I order you to stop thinking about that."

Sebastian's smile showed too many teeth that were too sharp for comfort. "Ah, my dear little lord. If only that still worked."

Ciel huffed and turned to stare out into the street, which was only marginally cleaner than the narrow alley where they lurked. "Just shut up. They'd better show up soon. It's bloody freezing. You're certain this street was the place they planned to meet?"

"Yes, quite certain."

Sebastian's eyes softened when he looked down at his mate, who shivered slightly as a chilly breeze whistled down the alley. Unbuttoning his coat, Sebastian reached out and gently pulled Ciel against his chest, wrapping the coat back around them both, offering his own warmth. Ciel considered being angry at Sebastian for his teasing, but decided it wasn't worth it and leaned his cheek against his shoulder instead.

To Ciel's relief, they didn't have to wait much longer. Only a few minutes passed before he felt Sebastian tense beside him, his mind suddenly sharp. Ciel turned his head to look up at him and Sebastian nodded.

Reluctantly, Ciel stepped out of the circle of his demon's arms and straightened his coat. He hated to leave the warmth and comfort of Sebastian's embrace but he wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. Stalling and allowing their quarry to pass them by would not do at all. Sebastian refastened his coat in a blur of deft fingers and inclined his head to Ciel.

_Come, little one._

Silent as a shadow, Ciel slipped from the darkness of the alley, Sebastian close at his shoulder. They emerged into the dirty street, directly in the path of the three men they'd been stalking across London for the past week.

"Good evening, gentlemen," Ciel called, trying to catch the men's attention before the idiots plowed right into them.

They were laughing amongst themselves about some woman for whom Ciel automatically felt sorry simply because she'd had to deal with these vile men. He briefly wondered if she'd even survived the encounter. Judging by what he could understand, he wasn't sure she had. Though that wasn't much; they were clearly very drunk. Their clothes were disheveled and stained, their faces unshaven, and Ciel could smell the pungent reek of alcohol from where he stood a few yards away. Sebastian made a quiet sound of disgust behind him and Ciel found himself for once grateful for Sebastian's ability to block his sensations from Ciel's consciousness. A hand settled lightly at the small of his back and some of the tension left his shoulders.

The men looked up at the sound of Ciel's voice, coming to an abrupt halt with almost comical surprise. The shortest one, who appeared to be the group's leader, took a few more steps forward as though intending to simply brush past them. Sebastian stepped up to stand at Ciel's side, blocking the way, and offered the man a cold smile. Ciel sighed softly. It was too cold and too late for this.

"Who the hell are you," the lead man demanded, slurring his words and managing to sound more petulant than intimidating. "What the fuck do you want. Ain't you a bit young to be out 'ere. And dressed so pretty too. You're babysitter's not doin' his job very well."

Sebastian pressed his lips tightly together, trying to suppress his laughter as Ciel bristled beside him.

_Shut up._

_I said nothing._

_Let's just get this over with. Just looking at them makes me want a bath._

"I don't have time for this," Ciel said disdainfully.

Another of the men stepped forward, twirling the toothpick he was chewing from one side of his mouth to the other. Ciel wrinkled his nose.

"Ya think we got time for this shit? Out of our way kid. I got a date with a certain Mr. Jones. Bastard better pay up tonight."

Ciel rolled his eyes. "Honestly, why do I bother? Look, I'm not interested in what you think of the situation or whether you know who I am. I just want to get this job over with so I can go home."

The first man just glared now, obviously not in the mood to talk. Ciel wasn't at all surprised to see a gun in his hand when he lifted it to eye level. These men were, after all, known for their rather violent form of impatience. He supposed he was saving Mr. Jones' life tonight, whoever that was.

"Look, kid. You wanna play the tough guy? I don't give a shit what you think you're doing but if you don't move in the next ten seconds, I'll make you. And your friend doesn't seem too bothered about it."

Sebastian offered the man his most polite smile while swallowing back a growl. If he even dared to consider pulling that trigger . . . Just the sight of the weapon aimed at his mate, despite the lack of any actual danger, made him want to break the man's neck. But Ciel was very clear about wanting disposal to be as clean and as commonplace as possible. It was perfectly plausible for these men to end up shot dead in the slums, but broken necks would cause a bit of a stir. Pity.

Ciel sighed. "Very well. Sebastian, you heard him. Apparently we have ten seconds to get this done. Get that gun for me, would you? I'd rather not waste my own bullets on this filth."

_And calm down. It's not like you'd let them actually hurt me._

Sebastian's only response was a low growl, more a vibration on the edge of Ciel's senses than an audible sound. His glare was still fixed on the man with the weapon.

"Sebastian."

Ciel turned to give Sebastian a prompting look, not registering the gun suddenly trained directly on his head until the sound of the shot blasted against his eardrums. He did not even flinch; this was by no means the first time a gun had been fired with the intent to kill him and he was confident that Sebastian would stop the bullet long before it found its mark. What did startle him was the sudden rush of black rage.

How dare they! How dare these pitiful, useless wastes of life try to harm . . . mine!

His vision went red and he was moving. It mattered not that the bullet was ultimately harmless and the attempt was frankly laughable. They had tried to hurt them, to kill them. His hands wrapped around fragile necks, claws digging into soft, thin flesh. Blood spilled over his fingers as vessels ruptured. The snap of bone, the gush of arterial blood splattering across his arms and face, and it still wasn't enough. They would pay for their presumption. They would die for their violation. Hands slick with blood seized the last one left alive. He brought up a knee into the center of the human's back, snapping him like a twig, gripping the body so tightly that his fingers punctured the abdomen. And he tore with vicious delight. He would gladly tear this trash to pieces until it was no longer recognizable as anything once alive.

But they didn't belong here. They would be discovered. One of them fought through the rage, trying to reach out, trying to be the voice of reason. The humans were dead and they had no explanations for this scene. Nothing more could be done. They were no threat. The corpse dropped to the ground across the other two with a pitiful thud.

Sebastian turned, blinking and shaking his head. Red still danced before his eyes and bloodlust pounded in his veins. But his mate was calling his name.

"Sebastian. Sebastian, they are dead. We have to go."

"Ciel?"

"Yes, Sebastian. Come."

A small, firm hand gripped the demon's wrist and pulled, leading him back into the relative obscurity of the dark alley. Sebastian followed easily, focusing on the calm rationality of his mate's mind, struggling to push down the need to destroy. He knew Ciel was right. He knew the humans were already very dead and that his moment of temper had created quite the inconvenient mess. He couldn't seem to care about that though.

Under cover of the shadows, Ciel stopped and turned to look up at his mate with slightly stunned eyes. He felt blood soaking the cuffs beneath his fingers but tightened his grip anyway. Eyes Ciel knew well found his and held as though he were the most important thing in the world, as though Sebastian feared if he looked away from Ciel he'd lose control again. Which, Ciel realized, was precisely what he feared. A shiver slid down Ciel's spine as he tried his best to offer the anchor Sebastian needed.

Yes, Ciel knew those eyes, burning, red, inhuman and wild. But the last time he'd seen so much fury and so little rationality in Sebastian's eyes, the demon had been swaying on his feet, determined to defend his mate even weakened by an injury which could have actually killed him . . . . And Ciel forcefully pushed that memory away. This time none of the blood covering the demon was his own.

Shaking his head to clear it, Ciel tried to think logically. They couldn't stay here, that was obvious. They were much too close to the scene of the crime and surely someone would come to investigate soon. Just because this part of the city was accustomed to violence and turning its eyes away, didn't mean that no one would be curious enough to question such an unusual attack. If nothing else, the next person to walk down this street would find the bodies. And Sebastian . . . There could be no doubt Sebastian was the culprit, even if Ciel hadn't watched-felt-him do it. Blood soaked his clothes from collar to hips, small trails still spreading in slow drips down his thighs. His white gloves were dyed entirely crimson and his sleeves were only marginally less saturated. One could almost make a game of finding the unstained spots. His face was also streaked with the stuff and Ciel sighed as he noticed the bright red standing out against the dark strands of his hair. Some part of Ciel was revolted; he had never particularly cared for the messy work and this was certainly much messier than it needed to be. Though mostly he was just annoyed. He glanced around Sebastian's shoulder but couldn't make out the carnage from here.

Sebastian's reason was slowly returning and Ciel's annoyance melted in the face of his contrition. The demon was nearly as startled by his complete lack of control as Ciel and just as frustrated by it, after the fact. Though he couldn't regret it.

"You don't think it was a bit excessive?" Ciel said, voice low but still snappish.

Even as he said it he knew the answer. No, it wasn't. And, were their positions reversed, he could not say that he would have acted differently. Sebastian didn't bother to respond. Instead, he turned to look over his shoulder, eyes much keener than a human's picking out the dark shapes on the ground yards away.

"We should leave now," he said, turning back and holding out his arms.

Ciel made a face. "Oh, now you want to pay attention. Quite a smart plan you've come up with. Tell me, what would you suggest we do with the evidence? I can't very well claim to The Yard that this was self-defense."

Sebastian bit back a scathing reply and just barely managed to lock it behind his mental barriers. This would never have happened if the stubborn child would listen to him and stop playing this game of pretend. As though he could simply go on living the life he'd had before with no change whatsoever. Sebastian took a deep breath and pushed his irritation down. The last thing he needed was for Ciel to feel that and realize to whom it was directed.

"Ciel, please. I know my actions have caused a bit of an inconvenience, but I do not think it will be a problem. As long as no one sees us in the vicinity any time soon, it is very unlikely anyone would make a connection to us. I expect the closest explanation any human would be able to devise would involve some form of animal attack. We informed no one of our leads, so we need merely play ignorant."

Ciel frowned as he thought this over. He had to admit it sounded logical enough. Not that he was entirely confident in Sebastian's rationality just yet. But he could find no flaws in his thinking and sighed, conceding.

But as Sebastian reached out again, intending to pick him up to carry him home, Ciel unconsciously flinched back a step. Sebastian's eyes widened and this time he didn't bother to hide the spike of anger. It was more pain than true anger though.

"Kitten?"

Ciel winced, immediately regretting his automatic reaction. He felt Sebastian's sudden doubt twist sickeningly in the pit of his stomach. What had he done?

"Sebastian." Ciel reached out a hand, then hesitated. "I'm . . . I'm sorry. It's nothing. I'm not afraid of you. Stop thinking that."

"You know very well what happened. Why I acted as I did."

"Yes," Ciel whispered. "I know."

"This is what I've been trying to explain to you, little soul. It is instinctive, completely independent of any reason. The very thought of someone even looking at you with harmful intentions infuriates me. And this situation . . . We are simply under more stress than newly mated pairs usually have to contend with."

Ciel bit his lip, choosing to ignore Sebastian's not so subtle chastisement for now. "I know. I can't blame you. I don't. It's just . . ." He pursed his lips in distaste. "Sebastian, I do not like to be covered in blood. It is one thing I typically try very hard to avoid. You've teased me about it often enough."

Understanding crossed the demon's face and a quiet, incredulous laugh washed over Ciel like a refreshing breeze. "Ah, I see. I do apologize, my lord, but I'm afraid I can do nothing about the situation until we return home and to the bath. And blood can be washed off easily enough. From the skin, anyway." He looked down at his ruined uniform, a bit exasperated. Ciel rolled his eyes.

"Fine, let's go. I want a bath, tea, chocolate, and my bed. In that order."

"Yes, my lord," Sebastian said, customary amused smirk firmly back in place.

He reached for Ciel for the third time, but Ciel stopped him with one quiet word.

"Sebastian."

Sebastian paused, catching the odd tone in his human's voice. Ciel's mind had gone strangely quiet, his touch against Sebastian's consciousness suddenly tentative. He took a step forward, closing the small distance he'd created between them, and slowly reached out to lay a gentle hand against his mate's bloodstained cheek.

"I understand, Sebastian. And I am truly sorry."

Ciel leaned up and Sebastian followed his coaxing tug to lean down to meet him. The kiss Ciel pressed to his lips held only sweetness and gratitude, a tiny glimpse of the gentleness hidden deep beneath the scars of his human's soul. Sebastian's eyes closed and he excepted the gesture with a smile as affectionate as the kiss.

Ciel pulled back only a short second later, his usual stoic mask revealing nothing. Sebastian licked his lips--chasing the taste of Ciel's--opened his eyes and smirked. The color of the blood now smeared across his mate's face was quite lovely against his porcelain skin. But the demon kept this thought to himself.

"Will you allow me to carry you home now, my soul? I promise you a bath will be the first order of business once we arrive."

Ciel sighed and nodded. Truthfully, he was more than ready to get out of here; they had pushed their luck far too much already. So he allowed Sebastian to gather him up against his chest, face twisting in disgust as tacky blood immediately began soaking into his favorite coat. But then, he was quite sure his face was dirty now and that was his own fault for deciding to kiss the damn creature before making him clean up. And he didn't need to hear it to know Sebastian was hiding some idiotic opinion about that from him. Sebastian's laughter was lost to the rushing wind as he leapt across the rooftops of London. Ciel grumbled half-heartedly and buried his face deeper against his mate's neck.


	5. 21 April 1891

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aka the sex chapter! whooo.   
> Seriously, probably my favorite chatper.

The day Ciel finally admitted he was in denial was the day both he and Sebastian snapped. Entertaining the widow of an old business associate wasn't Ciel's idea of a pleasant afternoon, but somehow the wretched woman had managed to get herself an invitation to tea. Ciel knew it was Sebastian's doing, but wasn't in the mood to fight him over it. The lady had just ended her period of mourning and it would have been quite discourteous to deny her. Besides, Ciel had rather liked her late husband: a quiet, hardworking man, who'd been very helpful with the company over the years. But the lady herself . . . Brash, loud, and indecently immodest, she was, Ciel thought, the most irritating person to whom he'd been forced to be civil in quite a while. Sebastian, despite having planned this in the first place, silently agreed.

_It wasn't as though I had a choice. You are the one insisting that we continue this facade. It would not do for the Earl Phantomhive to appear inhospitable._

_Yes, yes, I've heard it._

Ciel resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the passive aggressive jab and offered his guest a smile which he hoped didn't look as fake as it felt. God help him, how long would he be forced to endure this odious company? Not that any help was ever likely to come from that corner, mind. But still, Sebastian was only now pouring the tea and hadn't even served the accompanying cake yet.

Oh, what had she just said? Sebastian used the excuse of leaning over Ciel to pour tea to subtly elbow him in the shoulder.

_Pay attention, my lord._

_Bastard._ Ciel cast the woman a surreptitious glance. _It's not as though she's likely to notice. I doubt she even knows what she just asked._

Sebastian suppressed a sigh. _No, you may not gouge out her eyes._ Though he perfectly understood Ciel's desire.

Ciel snapped his eyes back to his guest with some effort. "Um, yes, of course," he responded, secretly grateful that Sebastian remembered the question. "The company is doing quite well. Sales in the past year have been the highest in our history. Though that is not to say I do not greatly miss your late husband's invaluable assistance."

"Thank you for your kind words. I do still miss him, you know. It's been quite lonely in that big house all by myself. Ever since . . ."

She sniffed delicately and lifted a lace handkerchief to dab at an invisible tear. Ciel didn't miss the vaguely calculating glance she cast in Sebastian's direction. No doubt fishing for a sympathy fuck. Sebastian faked a cough to cover a snort of amusement.

The lady immediately turned concerned eyes on him. "Oh, are you quite all right, Mr. Michaelis? I do hope you are not becoming ill. The weather has been quite dreadful these past few months and I hear a nasty bug is making the rounds in London."

Ciel clenched his teeth in an effort not to snap at the woman to stop giving his butler-his mate-that lascivious look disguised as solicitude. He narrowed his eyes, watching her suspiciously as Sebastian moved to refill her cup.

"I'm quite well, I assure you. Thank you for your concern."

The lady smiled up at him, batting her eyes flirtatiously. "Oh, I'm glad."

She reached out a hand as though to touch his arm, but Sebastian pulled back just in time to avoid the brush of her fingertips. Ciel bit into a sandwich to prevent himself from growling in possessive rage. Sebastian sighed internally in relief.

But the lady didn't seem to be taking the hint. As she chattered to Ciel, who was perfectly happy to sit in silence and pretend to listen, she kept glancing surreptitiously to the butler. And every time Sebastian was forced to move near to her, she lifted her hand, attempting to touch some part of him. With every barely avoided caress, Ciel's nerves wound tighter, anger battering at his self-control, and Sebastian's blandly polite smile grew more strained. Neither was listening to a word the woman said, too deep in their own heads, focusing on each other and keeping each other in check.

And then, as Sebastian reached over to remove an empty platter from the table, the lady looked up at him with a simpering smile. "These are the most delicious cakes I've ever tasted. Did you say it was your own recipe? I would really appreciate if you could give it to me so perhaps I could try to make them. Though I'm certain they wouldn't turn out so well."

A slightly sheepish expression flickered across her face before the fluttering lashes returned. Sebastian looked down at the platter he held, trying to remember when he or Ciel had mentioned that Sebastian had made the food. Ciel frowned, certain that neither of them had said any such thing, and shot Sebastian a confused look. Neither of them saw the woman's hand lift again, reaching out to the butler. And just as Sebastian stepped back, she managed to rest her palm against his hip, stopping him.

And suddenly the room was much colder. Time seemed to freeze for a long moment; the calm before the storm. The fraying thread of their patience snapped.

Sebastian recoiled violently, skin crawling with disgust despite the layers of fabric separating the offending hand and his bare hip. An involuntary growl of fury ripped from his throat and before he could check himself he'd grabbed the woman's slender wrist in a crushing grip. No one save Ciel had laid a hand on his person in the past four months and before then he would have considered it only a mild annoyance. He was not prepared for the horrified rage which now filled him. And Ciel . . .

Ciel was on his feet, expression a mask of pure fury. Their eyes met for the briefest of seconds and Sebastian saw his revulsion mirrored in Ciel's face. At last Ciel understood Sebastian's reaction to even the thought of anyone laying a finger on Ciel.

In the next second, Ciel was around the small table and gripping Sebastian's free hand with all his strength. His other hand curled around the grip of his revolver. At that moment, he couldn't have said what he might have done with the loaded weapon in hand. He'd had enough of this damned society.

The woman's eyes were wide with shock and pain. Sebastian felt the bones beneath his fingers grind together and, with savage pleasure, tightened his grip further. A cry escaped her as one of the smaller bones gave way with an audible snap. Ciel's smile was a terrible, merciless thing.

"Well, perhaps a few crushed bones will teach you to keep your hands off of what doesn't belong to you. Sebastian?"

Sebastian looked down at Ciel with inhuman eyes. And suddenly the terrified creature in his grasp didn't matter. His focus narrowed down to the beautiful face of his mate twisted with anger. Ciel was radiating tension, possessive desire, the need to claim and mark. An urge the demon understood in his very core. Disentangling their fingers, Sebastian lifted his hand to the back of Ciel's head, one swift tug freeing the eye patch to flutter to the floor. He cupped the small jaw and Ciel held his gaze with both eyes. Neither looked towards the woman, ashen-faced and trembling. Sebastian's grip on her wrist never faltered.

"What shall we do with her, my soul?"

"I don't care," Ciel responded, voice low and dangerous. The voice that belied his innocent appearance and a shiver of arousal slid down Sebastian's spine.

For one interminable moment, they stood frozen: one human woman trapped like a butterfly pinned to a board and two beings hovering somewhere between human sensibility and animalistic desperation. Then, Ciel turned his face into Sebastian's hand, nipping teasingly at his fingers, and the last fraying thread of Sebastian's control snapped.

He leaned down, lips an inch from Ciel's, eyes black pits of desire. His nostrils flared as he breathed in his mate's delicious scent, arousal and anger and a bitter-sweetness that was entirely Ciel. Wide, mismatched eyes held his gaze, burning with a hunger to rival the appetites of Hell. Ciel's lips parted, stealing the warmth of the breath fanning across his face as Sebastian spoke.

"Can you wait five seconds for me?"

Ciel's brow furrowed in a frown of displeasure, but he nodded, casting a venomous glance towards their unwanted guest. Sebastian playfully nipped Ciel's slightly pouty lower lip before straightening. Even as he turned away, their thoughts twined together in a haze of need. The instant Sebastian moved, Ciel began to count. He paid no mind to what his mate was doing, focusing only on his count to prevent himself from screaming in frustration. At this moment, he would be perfectly content to leave a corpse on his parlor floor, a problem to be disposed of later.

Four seconds later, Ciel found himself swept up into strong, familiar arms. Sharp claws were tearing the clothes from his body before the bedroom door had even swung shut behind them and Ciel fought with the buttons of Sebastian's collar, cursing the tiny, bothersome things. Sebastian's laugh was almost a growl and his clothes simply fell away beneath Ciel's fingers. Ciel groaned, not for the first time finding himself very grateful for Sebastian's inhuman abilities. Their lips met in a fierce kiss, tongues twining and dueling for dominance. Sebastian purred as Ciel's hands slid across his chest, finding his nipples and pinching hard.

The demon sank onto the edge of the bed, still cradling his mate against his chest. Large hands ran up and down Ciel's back, the light scratch of claws raising gooseflesh across his body. Ciel groaned into Sebastian's mouth, pushing his tongue inside, wanting to taste and not minding the slight sting as Sebastian nibbled teasingly with inhumanly sharp teeth. The glimpses of his mate's true self, every sign that the demon's control was slipping, only excited Ciel further.

Gasping for breath, Ciel pulled back a scant few inches, eyes locking with Sebastian's again. No words were needed; their thoughts were a swirling mix of sensation and desire and understanding. The demon's eyes flashed crimson and Ciel smirked. Small hands pressed against his chest and Sebastian allowed himself to be pushed onto his back, moving as his mate desired until he stretched out across the bed with Ciel straddling his waist. 

Ciel leaned over him, hands braced on his chest, and ground his hips against Sebastian's aching erection. A guttural groan sent chills down Ciel's spine as Sebastian's pleasure spiked and twined with his own arousal. Hot hands gripped his hips, claws digging into his skin just hard enough to prick the surface. The familiar feeling thrilled him. Sebastian's lips were drawn back in a slight snarl of desperation as he tried to guide Ciel down against him again. He needed the touch, needed the affirmation. But slim fingers wrapped around his wrists and pulled. Sebastian looked up to his mate's face in frustration as Ciel lifted himself up, denying them both the contact they needed. Ciel's eyes hardened and Sebastian immediately stopped fighting him. Stronger than the urge for immediate gratification was the need to submit to his mate's possession.

Sebastian's eyes fluttered closed and his fingers loosened on Ciel's hips, though he didn't remove his hands. Ciel hummed in satisfaction, hardly knowing what he was doing but perfectly content to follow his body's desires for now. Fingers traced feather-light caresses along Sebastian's collarbones, across his chest, and he tilted his head back with a quiet moan of appreciation, baring his throat in the instinctual sign of submission. Ciel shifted his position to lay almost flat over his mate, burying his face against the smooth neck, kissing and sucking and nipping. Every slight tremble, quiet moan, or twitch of Sebastian's member against him drove Ciel higher on the waves of pleasure crashing between them. Long fingers tangled in his hair and pulled his head up for another deep kiss and Ciel went gladly. Pulling back a moment later, Ciel took the hand that still rested on his hip and squeezed.

_Oil?_

Not bothering to move, Sebastian simply summoned the small bottle to his hand, flicking off the cap with his thumb. Ciel held out his hand. Sebastian paused for a split second before understanding what his mate wanted. Eyes fixed on Ciel with hungry anticipation, he gently gripped the outstretched wrist and poured the oil over Ciel's fingers. The liquid thoroughly coated his skin, running in small drips down the back of his hand, filling the air with the sharp scent of peppermint. Ciel grinned, lifting himself up and twisting a bit to give Sebastian a better view. The demon growled lowly, tossing the vial aside, careless of where it landed.

Burning eyes watched avidly as Ciel reached down behind himself to run his oiled fingers down his crease, circling and pressing lightly against his opening. Both of them shuddered, the oil adding a tantalizing tingling to the pleasure, and Sebastian's hands twitched.

_No._

_Need to touch you._

_Wait. Watch._

Sebastian let out a frustrated whine and shifted beneath Ciel as his mate's sensations teased his own nerves. It was lucky Ciel wasn't really in the mood to tease because they were both far too close to the edge already.

With no further hesitation, Ciel pushed a finger inside himself, drawing another groan from both of them. Sebastian watched the finger disappear into his mate's body, already anticipating feeling that beautiful, slick heat wrapped around him. Ciel whimpered at the thought, pushed another finger inside, ignoring the burn caused by his impatience. Sebastian's pleasure at the sensation overrode Ciel's discomfort, their joint arousal making him shudder with need.

Unable to resist, Sebastian rested a hand against Ciel's thigh, fingers flexing as Ciel's fingers moved in and out. Ciel thrust his hips down onto his own fingers, whining as he tried to reach deeper. Sebastian growled, arching his own hips up, muscles clenching in sympathy. Their desperation was nearing the point of pain.

"Ciel."

Ciel thought he could release just from the sound of his name growled in that voice, dark and dangerous and no longer quite human. He nodded in silent agreement and withdrew his fingers, whining at the loss. Sebastian murmured comforting nonsense to him as his hands settled on Ciel's hips, supporting him as he moved into place. Bracing himself with his hands on Sebastian's chest, Ciel lowered his hips until he felt the head of Sebastian's member press against his opening. Sebastian groaned softly in anticipation but tightened his fingers on Ciel's hips, trying to caution him not to move too fast, not to hurt himself. Ciel ignored Sebastian's concern, too impatient for slow and careful.

They both moaned as Ciel sank down, shuddering at the feel of tight, wet heat and stretching muscles. Sebastian tried to wait, tried to give Ciel time to adjust, but Ciel was already moving. Very little of the discomfort registered to Ciel's nerves, so saturated were they with Sebastian's pleasure. So he slammed down, making Sebastian gasp out a curse in a language never spoken by humans.

Ciel moaned loudly, loving the feeling of fullness and connection. He lifted himself up and dropped back down with reckless abandon, circling his hips and whining as Sebastian's member found all his most sensitive spots. Sebastian growled and thrust up to meet him, the two immediately setting a quick rhythm. The sting of claws digging into Ciel's hips drew another cry from him and he let Sebastian's strength direct him.

The pleasure swirled between them, building on itself and filling their beings, leaving no room for coherent thought. Ciel's nails scratched down Sebastian's chest as Sebastian's fingers bruised his hips. Sensations blended together until neither could tell where one of them ended and the other began. The duel feelings of taking and being taking twined together and they moved as one, chasing the ultimate high.

It was a primal union, fueled by the need to solidify their connection. Both of them driven by the instinct to claim and mark and erase all traces of other hands. This was how they should always be, the connection between them absolute and undeniable.

It didn't take long for them both to be riding the edge of release, muscles tightened, backs arched. A hand wrapped around the back of his neck, pulling him down. At the very moment teeth sank into a vein, the wave of ecstasy crested. Warmth spread through them, across their skin, through their veins, and they clung to each other, shuddering through their joint climax. The scent of sex and the sound of pure gratification filled the room, surrounding them in a heady haze as they curled into one another, slowly sinking back to Earth.

For an endless moment, they lay, still and quiet, simply resting in shared warmth. Finally, Sebastian stirred, gently licking the side of Ciel's neck, cleaning and healing the wound he'd created. Ciel whimpered softly and Sebastian shivered.

_We should clean up._

_Must we?_

Ciel couldn't deny he understood the powerful attraction of knowing his mate carried his scent, his mark. But with the euphoria of the moment fading, his overexerted muscles were beginning to make their complaints known. Sebastian nuzzled against him sympathetically, stroking his fingers carefully over the bruises and cuts on Ciel's hips. Reluctantly, he gripped Ciel's waist and lifted him up. A small sound escaped Ciel's throat as Sebastian withdrew from him and he tightened his arms around the demon's shoulders as he sat up, cradling Ciel in his lap. Soft lips brushed across Ciel's forehead and he sighed. The fervor had been spent, leaving him drained and exhausted. Sebastian held him close, gladly carrying his mate to the bath.

Some time later, as Sebastian massaged soap into Ciel's hair, Ciel finally said the words Sebastian had been longing to hear for months. "Sebastian, I can't do this anymore. We have to leave."

Sebastian's hands stilled for a second before resuming their task. He might have doubted the sincerity of Ciel's declaration if he couldn't feel his bone-deep weariness. He had finally reached his limit of patience, no longer able to pretend he wasn't suffering in this facade of a normal human life. But Sebastian hesitated. As much as he longed to take Ciel away from all of this, to go somewhere where they could just be alone, years of deferring to Ciel's desires could not be shaken so easily.

"Are you certain, kitten? You realize what you are saying."

Sebastian cupped a hand over Ciel's brow, pouring water over his hair to rinse away the soap. Ciel sighed softly and, once his hair was sufficiently rinsed, turn his head to rest his cheek against Sebastian's chest. He knew the heartbeat thumping in his ears was really an affectation of this physical form but it comforted him anyway.

"Yes, I know. I'm sorry it has taken me this long to admit it to myself. But, as much as I hate to inflate your ego, you're right." He sighed. "As usual."

Sebastian hummed, stroking Ciel's arms consolingly. "I know you are afraid but you needn't be. I will let nothing happen to you. And truthfully, our lives would be vastly more complicated if we stayed. Your grace period would not last much longer."

Ciel nodded against him and captured one of Sebastian's hands, gripping it tightly. "I still don't know what to do. My affairs need to be put in order. And we need to devise some plausible cover story for our disappearance. And I won't leave the servants out in the cold." 

"Hush," Sebastian murmured. "Everything will sort itself out. One problem at a time." Sebastian stood, lifting Ciel in his arms, and stepped from the tub, using a thread of power to pull the plug. "And we don't have to begin right this moment. You should rest."

Ciel couldn't argue with that, leaning into his demon and letting his eyes fall shut. He let himself be dried and tucked back into a magically clean bed. Already feeling sleep tug at him, he pulled on Sebastian's hand until the demon settled beneath the covers beside him. Strong arms wrapped around him again and Ciel nuzzled his face into Sebastian's neck, feeling more content than he had in months. Now that he'd finally accepted the situation and made his decision, the tension they had both been carrying seemed to melt away. All that remained were the details.

"Sleep, my little one. We will be fine."

Ciel sighed, quite willing to obey the quiet command. But before he could quite give in to his exhaustion, one question needed to be addressed. His curiosity would not allow him to ignore it.

"Sebastian?"

"Hmm?"

"What did you do with that woman?"

Sebastian's hand on Ciel's back paused in its lazy stroking and he laughed softly. "Oh, yes. Nothing so dreadful. I merely carried her some distance away and left her by the main road with no memory of how she got there. I made sure to take her far enough away that her location would not be linked back to the manor. Though I'm afraid I was a bit careless with her memory in my haste. I believe I erased as much as the past week's worth of memories."

Ciel huffed an incredulous laugh. "How merciful of you. I would have been happy putting a bullet in her skull."

"Quite. But I dare say my solution was a little less troublesome."

Conceding the point, Ciel cuddled deeper into Sebastian's embrace. His lips found the soft skin of the demon's throat and he peppered sleepy kisses across it. Sebastian's purr filled the room, a deep rumble rising and falling with the rhythm of Ciel's heartbeat, soothing him to sleep.


	6. 2 May 1891

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll post this now because I don't know when I'll have time to get back to a computer later. No, I am not done with this universe.  
> Happy December 25th, feel free to substitute any holiday relevant to you.

Ciel wandered through the halls of his childhood home for the last time. From the master bedroom to the study to the private drawing room to each and every guest room. His mind was blank. He'd expected to feel something more as he said his last goodbyes to the life he'd once known. Sadness, pain--at least nostalgia. But he was mostly numb. Perhaps it was because he'd been saying his goodbyes for the last five years and now he had nothing left to mourn. Perhaps it was because the decision had been made and Ciel was not one to dwell on what-ifs once his course was set. He held no regrets.

He found Sebastian where he'd known the demon would be: waiting patiently for him in his own room in the servants' quarters. Despite the discomfort and anxiety still brought on by separation, Sebastian had quietly withdrawn without being asked, granting Ciel his space. Now that he was getting his way, he felt it was the least he could do to allow his mate a last few minutes to lay his ghosts to rest.

Sebastian didn't look around as Ciel entered, busy with his task of carefully taking stock of the few things he'd packed. There were things Ciel would not leave behind and Sebastian had made no objections, only pulled down the large traveling trunk from the attic. It wasn't as though he didn't have room and the quarters he'd occupied for centuries would no longer be his alone. It was a strange thought, Sebastian mused. Ciel wasn't the only one who was facing a future he could never have anticipated. Satisfied with the arrangement of items, Sebastian latched the trunk as Ciel stopped beside him, reaching out reflexively to curl an arm around the demon's waist, pressing himself into his side. Sebastian finally turned to look down into the beautifully mismatched eyes peering up at him and offered his mate a reassuring smile.

"Everything is set. We can leave as soon as you are ready."

Ciel sighed, closing his eyes briefly before setting his jaw and opening them again to take one last look around the room he'd rarely even entered. "I suppose I am as ready as I'll ever be. There is no sense in dawdling here."

Sebastian nodded. He lowered the barriers he'd raised to give Ciel as much privacy as he could and almost startled when Ciel immediately latched onto his consciousness. As numb as Ciel felt, there was still a part of him which ached fiercely at the thought of what they were about to do. It was a fitting solution, he thought, though he somehow wished they'd come up with a different cover for their departure.

Sebastian gathered his mate in his arms, lifting him against his chest. "Very well then." Ciel closed his eyes again, feeling the air rush past him as Sebastian moved. Then the sounds and smells of the night air assaulted him, nearly overwhelming after the graveyard silence of the empty manor. "If you will wait here for me, I'll collect your things and set the scene."

Ciel nodded but clung to Sebastian's sleeve as the demon set him down and began to turn away. "Wait."

Sebastian's hand cupped Ciel's cheek, thumb stroking beneath his marked eye. "What is it, kitten?"

Ciel swallowed hard, feeling foolish but unable to help the sudden tears pricking his eyes. "I . . . I don't want to see. It's enough to know . . . to know that it's done. I can't watch this."

Sebastian took a breath to say something flippant and teasing, his automatic response. But he didn't need to see Ciel's face, turned away from him to hide his watery eyes, to know that the numbness was cracking. He bit his own lip, trying not to sink into Ciel's rising pain and panic. His chest ached strangely.

Sighing, Sebastian pulled his mate to him, tilting his face up to press soothing kisses against his forehead, across his cheeks, along his jaw. Ciel's lip quivered and he sucked it between his teeth to stop it. Sebastian made a small sound in his throat and gently pried it free with his tongue before covering his mate's mouth with his.

"Hush now, there's no need to get yourself worked up." Sebastian paused, frowning. He glanced over his shoulder to the house, then scanned the dark lawn thoughtfully. "But I won't take you home and leave you there. I can't do that."

Ciel shook his head. Absolutely not. He had some idea of what home Sebastian referred to, but he did not think being left in an unfamiliar place and separated so completely from his mate would be good for either of them. Being separated by the veil between planes of existence would be so much worse than being parted from each other by mere distance. "Just . . . just take me to the back garden," Ciel said finally, feeling Sebastian's frustration. "I'll wait there." 

It wouldn't be far enough away to stop him from hearing everything, from smelling the smoke. But unless he stood in a certain place and looked through the hedges, he would not be able to see the house. It would have to do. Even if Sebastian would take him farther, he didn't think he could handle such a distance between them. Not even for the very brief moment it would take the demon to complete his task.

Sebastian nodded. "As you wish."

He carried Ciel to the center of the garden, setting him gently on a stone bench surrounded by climbing roses and turned away quickly before he could allow himself to think of how very much he did not want to leave his little mate alone here. It would only be the briefest of moments. The faster he finished this, the faster they could leave this place. Even so, Sebastian paused in Ciel's study, trunk in hand, staring around the room solemnly. This place, this house full of its shadows and ghosts, that he himself had rebuilt with his own hands from the ashes, was perhaps the first place in all his long centuries of watching the world change around him whose existence he would miss. He wasn't certain if that was his own nostalgia--which he was rather loath to admit to--coloring his thoughts. Or if it was his mate's sadness at the loss of the last piece of his childhood. Either way, it was these walls which had witnessed his own life-changing experience and it was with a slightly sad smile that he swiftly lit the match and turned away.

When he rejoined Ciel in the garden, he found his mate examining a single rose held between his fingers. Sebastian's nostrils flared at the scent of blood, but it was only the small droplets dotting the thorns of the flower. Ciel had picked it from the bush with no thought to his fingers and Sebastian sighed. Gently, he took the flower from Ciel and stripped away the thorns with the sharp edge of his own claw before carefully tucking it into Ciel's lapel. Taking his mate's small hand in his, Sebastian bent his head and tenderly licked away the drops of blood, cleaning the small fingers and healing the punctures simultaneously.

"Come, little one. It's time to go."

Ciel rose quietly, turning away from the smell of smoke blowing towards them on the rising wind. "All right. I think . . . I think I'd like to sleep. It is very late. And it's growing quite chilly."

Sebastian smiled as he wrapped an arm around his mate, stilling his slight shivering. "You can sleep when we reach my home."

"And how will we do that exactly?" Ciel asked, casting Sebastian an annoyed glance. "You never did explain that part."

Sebastian smirked. "Why, magic, of course. What else?" 

"You're sense of humor is unparalleled," Ciel said dryly. "Now stop trying to distract me from the present situation. It's not working."

The demon sighed his signature put-upon sigh and lifted Ciel up to cradle against his hip. Grasping the trunk in his other hand, Sebastian began to walk, leaving the manor falling to ash once more behind them.

"I cannot explain to you how it works because I do not know myself," he said as Ciel tightened his arms around his shoulders. "But I am certain you will be fine. Though you may wish to close your eyes as we cross over. And do not let go of me."

Ciel said nothing but Sebastian smiled at the irritable thought: _as if I would do something so stupid_. He cuddled his mate close both physically and mentally as he turned his attentions towards the veil. It was time to go home. At last.

**Author's Note:**

> I considered being totally mean and posting each chapter on its actual corresponding date.  
> I'll post daily.


End file.
